Heloooooo Bitches! It’s time for another edition of Mind The V. Well, more like mind the Valentine’s Day am I right? It has come and gone and you are either feeling a little more like your usual ever so slightly depressed and acutely aware of your singleness self again, or you are longing back to the passion, wine, hearts, chocolates and the this-happens-once-a-year spoils from your lover.
As Jimmy Fallon describes it: “oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s day. That’s not weird at all.”
It feels strange being anti-anything that celebrates love, even if it is a nauseating commercial holiday. What about those of us in non-conventional relationships, or those that actually enjoy watching movies alone and like cuddling pillows and dogs? One single day cannot encompass all the joy and heartache that love holds. 1 day out of 365 calendar days equates to 0.27%. It does not make sense to put that much effort into 0,27% of the calendar year.
Every year, girls are like “oh I’m getting a diamond I know it!” and guys are like “Yea tonight I’m getting a blowjob!” and everyone is disappointed.
So around Valentine’s day we found out that Magic Mike 2 is in the making…and just admit it, you watched it, you loved it and you left the cinema madly in love with Channing Tatum. You and all the bitches in your group agreed to NEVER tell anyone in your intellectual circles that you even considered watching it, never mind clapping when he did the policeman outfit dance. You know what we’re talking about…
Yes, we’re excited for Magic Mike 2 because it’s not only meat-packed with some of the best-looking men working in Hollywood today, but it’s based on Channing Tatum’s life. Everything you see on-screen was inspired by actual events, which makes it all that much more tantalizing. Plus, it’s just fun. A lot of films offer shirtless dudes, but how many have based an entire movie around their ability to look good shirtless, pant-less and dancing?
If the sequel offers as much excitement as the first film, we can rest assured our lusts will be hanging on by a thread at the end of this film – for that reason only we are making sure we have someone or something… (Grrr – if you know what I mean, hehe) … to go home to at least! Since Channing is sexy and everyone knows it, we have decided to give you some of the wishlist and lust list V’s we would like to see form the stripper crew. Ogle this until the badly written but SEXY sequel comes out. This is the circle of trust.
We start with Ian Somerhalder. He is soooo good to look at…and if he can execute a couple of dance moves and take his pants off with as much vigor as he uses biting peoples necks in Vampire Diaries, we will be sitting in the front seat.
Number 2 is William Levy. Look at those abs. Just look. Even though he has the metroman complexion, he used to be on Temptation Island (like years ago) and we are quite sure he has a couple of moves to show us.
Ok ok, it looks like we have quite the vampire jones, but just look at him! If you watched True Blood at all, you have been crushing on Alexander Skarsgard for years, and you wish you were lying between the crisp white Egyptian Cotton Sheets with him.
Jason Mamoa played the weirdly-attractive-for-a-traditional-looking-person in the first season of Game of Thrones. He was Khaleesi’s betrothed in the Dothraki Tribe and all we can say is “mai ish anha” (which means MOTHER MAY I in Dothraki).
Tom Hardy is that absolutely bad ass strong and tough man, with the sweetest looking eyes. He could be the understated and unconsciously beautiful construction worker that they discover at a party and turn into the hottest stripper, like, ever.
Gerard Butler because his crooked smile and 300 abs make us all weak at the knees. And then he opens his mouth and out comes that accent…
And last but not least is Charlie Hunnam. He was chosen to play Christian Grey for a reason…gave that role up to play the badass President of SAMCROW and…that’s some good looking facial hair.
So which one of the Magic Mike crew is your favorite and why ladies? Leave a comment and let us know what you think. Feedback is appreciated and welcome here. If you’ve enjoyed this second edition of Mind the V, feel free to share this article with your friends on Facebook and Twitter. Remember: Sharing is Caring.
Watch this space for regular updates in the Hunks category on Running Wolf’s Rant.