Red Forman was a fictional character on the popular TV sitcom, That 70’s Show (which aired from 1998 until 2006). The show focused on the lives of 6 teenage friends in Point Place, Wisconsin from 1976 until 1979.
Red Forman was one of my favorite characters on the show because he was real, ill-tempered and perpetually disgruntled. His comments and comebacks are real gems. The character was played by veteran act Kurtwood Smith.
Before making his appearance on That 70’s Show Smith appeared in films like Broken Arrow, A Time To Kill, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, The Crush, Boxing Helena, Dead Poet’s Society, Rambo III and RoboCop (to name just a few). He also appeared in various TV shows. He made his TV debut on the sitcom Soap and the film Roadie in 1980.
Since the cancellation of That 70’s Show Kurtwood Smith has provided voices for characters on various shows (like Netflix’s F For Family and Rick & Morty) and has appeared in TV shows like 24, Resurrection, House, Agent Carter and Netflix’s The Ranch.
Red Forman is still one of the most legendary characters in television history and I think he should be honored and remembered.
Here are 20 Legendary Red Forman Quotes
1. Red responds to Eric believing that everyone’s political views is valid and worth hearing
“Well, that’s, that’s perfect Eric. Use that line when you’re up for Miss America.”
2. Red thinks that Eric has a problem hearing him
“Eric, didn’t I tell you to wash up for dinner? I know, it’s difficult to hear with your head up your ass.”
3. Red expresses his views on death
“I just wanna say…when my time comes, I want to be buried face down, so that anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss my ass!”
4. Red doesn’t think Eric has bad luck
“Son, you don’t have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you … is because you’re a dumbass. Now fix it.”
5. Red expresses his views about Luke Skywalker
“Oh, would you stop! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that, I’m sick and tired of hearing about that little fruit!”
6. Red‘s thoughts on why Eric has a headache
“That’s your own brain comprehending its own stupidity.”
7. Red’s thoughts on his neighbour Bob
“Bob’s just kinda goofy, like a cartoon. It’s kinda like living next to Elmer Fudd.”
8. Red‘s thoughts on rules
“Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.”
9. Red‘s thoughts on Bob‘s Hair
“His head looks like a poodle’s ass.”
10. Red on buying an economic car during the oil crisis
“The last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me.”
11. Red‘s thoughts on women and alcohol
“When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.”
12. Red is a real patriot
“If the US government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say, ‘Thank You. And God Bless America.'”
13. Red‘s thoughts on the kids of today
“Damn kids today. They wouldn’t know responsibility if it walked up and bit them in the ass.”
14. Red’s advice for Hyde
“Steven, I’ve come to think of you as a son. So I want to give you some honest, heart-felt advice. Get your head out of your ass.”
15. Red‘s response to Fez and Hyde after finding their pot stash
“You morons just hung a vacancy sign on your asses and my foot’s looking for a room!”
16. Red wishing Eric a happy birthday
“Happy Birthday. You know, the lawn’s not gonna cut itself.”
17. Red tells Hyde where his rent money’s going
“You know all that rent money you’ve been giving us? I’ve been putting it all in a bank account for your college fees… or bail.”
18. Red‘s response on Kelso scoring higher than Eric in a test
“Michael Kelso scored higher than you on the test? This is the kid I saw super-glue his hand to his face.”
19. Red wants to have more feet
“I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses.”
20. Red‘s thoughts on responsible people
“Responsible people don’t go around getting their nipples twisted.”
Well, there you have it, 20 legendary Red Forman quotes. If there’s another one you’d like to share, leave a comment below.
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