Ah, love. There’s nothing like it. It’s the universal human emotion. It’s that thing we all yearn for. And yet, for some of us, it’s an ideal that proves all too elusive.
Little wonder, then, that love has been the prevailing theme of story and myth, art and science, for millennia. Today, though, the story of and search for love has taken a new and unexpected turn — a turn toward reality television.
Long-running “reality” series featuring ostensibly “ordinary” (and yet impossibly attractive) people on a quest for love like The Bachelor and its spinoff, The Bachelorette, continue to enjoy immense popularity years after their debut. Indeed, the series has transformed many of its stars into pop culture icons, tabloid fodder, and influencer all-stars.
But what are reality tv shows like these actually doing to our perception of romantic love today?
On that front, there’s both good news and bad.
Taking Stock
It’s not hard for critics to condemn shows like The Bachelor for inculcating a highly idealized and largely unrealistic image of romantic love. But that doesn’t mean that such grandiose visions of relationships are completely without merit,
In fact, some fans of these series argue that witnessing the romantic aspirations and travails of the protagonists helped them to wake up to some harsh truths about their own love life. One devotee states, for instance, that the show helped her to realize how unhappy she had been in her previous relationship, which in turn gave her the courage to leave a life that no longer fulfilled her.
Her current relationship, she claims, fills the need for lightness, laughter, and unconditional support that she did not realize her former relationship was lacking until she saw the show. In this way, for the shows’ audience, reality dating shows can teach fans not to settle for partners who simply aren’t right for them.
Defying Convention
Another potential benefit of reality dating shows is that they illuminate how varied and rocky the path to true love can be. Chasing a forever-love in front of millions of television viewers is by no means a conventional way to find one’s soulmate or to forge a path to the altar.
But in many ways, the very unconventionality of the medium reflects the dating mindset of many young people today. For example, studies show that members of Generation Z, people born after 1996, are more likely to date in non-traditional ways. For these young people, dating often centers around technology, with Gen Z’ers frequently turning to online dating.
In that way, young people who rely on technology to find a romantic partner may be seen to echo the protagonists of reality dating shows, who are using tech in their own way to find love.
But the similarities don’t end there, because the same studies show that only about 1 in 10 Gen Z’ers are actually looking for a committed, monogamous relationship. In that, we find another parallel with reality television, with its dozens of rivals all vying for the attention of and being courted by one bachelor or bachelorette.
Wine Me, Dine Me
If there are positives to be found in teaching audiences not to submit to an unhappy romantic life, series like The Bachelor may also easily set viewers up for disappointment in their own relationships. After all, we humans love a good story. Above all, we love losing ourselves in the characters with which we identify.
However, living vicariously through a favorite reality television show can be a dangerous proposition because, in fact, so-called “reality” television is often anything but. Instead, what viewers see on their television screens every week is nothing but a deeply orchestrated and heavily edited version of a well-produced, big-budget fantasy — a fantasy with which most simply can’t compete.
That’s a problem when it teaches viewers to come to expect similar excitement, gratification, and adventure in their own lives. The “real” reality, of course, is that such shows are a business like any other. They’re designed to create consumers.
But to create a consumer, you must first make the target audience care about what you’re “selling.” It’s little wonder, then, that so many of the stars of these shows go on to lucrative media careers, including careers as social media influencers and brand ambassadors.
After all, there’s perhaps no better way to become emotionally invested in a media figure than to witness their personal romantic struggles, the quest for love with which we can all identify in some way or another. No matter how contrived the love story may be, the illusion feels real, the protagonists feel like friends and family, and thus a successful influencer is born.
The Takeaway
We humans seem always to have been obsessed with love stories. Today, though, those love stories have taken a new form. Reality dating shows such as The Bachelor are shaping our perception of love in both very positive and deeply negative ways. They can teach us not to settle, for example, but in so doing they may lead us to fall for a fantasy that reality could never live up to.
Watch this space for updates in the Television category on Running Wolf’s Rant.
