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Are you a Koppi virgin? Today I’m offering your Oppikoppi survival tips (sourced from social media) and my essential tips to survive South Africa’s best music festival.

I sourced these Oppikoppi survival tips from friends on Twitter and Facebook, via e-mail and Skype chats a few years ago. The response was quite huge. These tips are really useful and I think they are laid out mostly in Layman’s terms – they are easy to interpret and understand. So, get yourself ready for a fun read…

Here are Essential Oppikoppi Survival Tips (Sourced from Social Media):

• “The best Hangover breakfast for Oppi are those mini ultra mel custards! I kid you not!” ” O ja en pleisters en detol! Hoe helpful dit vir julle sal wees weet ek nie, maar eks een van daai ‘can’t stay on my feet drunks” @BorstolJunkie (via Twitter) – She actually has a whole list she takes along every time she’s there, you might have to tweet her for her full list (it’s friggin’ long).
• “Buy your booze at Shoprite Northam. That way it’s cold and you have more space in your car !!!” @The_P0P0 (via Twitter)
• “Wear gumboots, take water, don’t waste your time with food – kos kots moeilik and take lotsa photos!” @LadyRockerSA (via Twitter).
• “Save the GPS location of your campsite on your phone, I got lost for hours, every night”  “1) kop torch, 2) heartburn pills (Rennies wont cut it), 3) be prepared to loose anything you take with, 4) don’t bother with food” @TheMandibleClaw (via Twitter)
• “Buy a pack of Marlboro Red for smoking beggars.” @elismaroets (via Twitter).
• “Sinutabs or other headache pills.” @halololah (via Twitter)
• “It gets kak cold at night. So bring warm clothes or have an orgy, whatever floats your boat.” @texxonfire (via Twitter)
• “Double bag it!” @wrestlerish (via Twitter)
• “Here’s a bunch of Oppikoppi Survival tips: #1 money for the water bottle for free water… #2 enough drinks… If you think it’s too much… Get more…  #3 take a cheap phone with to koppi if you must take a phone… Because you will loose it… #4 Do Sudoku while drunk to improve brain strength to help you get back to your tent while under the influence” @lareJacques (via Twitter)
• “Don’t sober up” @garethwilsonsa (via Twitter)
• ” Before you put on your beer goggles , make sure the hot guy/girl you like is hot by asking a sober friend” @ashlee_jcbs (via Twitter)
• “Don’t go with your ex girlfriend” @abraham_kamffer (via Twitter)
• “If it is lost it is lost. Accept the change and move on. Also: Real friends don’t braai with their friends hands.” @MattBlackZA (via Twitter)
• “Don’t take stupid food (like tuna), you won’t eat it. People take too much food and end up buying food at the stage” @adriennebrook (via Twitter)
• “Same as every year: Take 2 x 500ml Creme soda for each day you’re there and hide it in your car for the next morning!” @Braaiboy (via Twitter)
• “Dust coverage. Bring seile. Miljoene van die goed!” @NjarfieSLS (via Twitter)
• “Stofmasker, water, handskoene, maybe kan jy jo tent met glow-in-the-dark verf spuit 😉 My sister & I took waterguns once. Was quite a blast :D” Helena Louw (via Facebook)
• “I have a ‘cool’ tip for sustaining ice cubes that I’ve picked up from some veterans: Bring a BIG cooler-box, fill it with as much ice cubes as you’ll need, then plant some dry ice in plastic bags or wrapped in paper in between, four or five big pieces should do it. This will make your ice last the whole weekend. I’ve done it and it works, we’ve actually discarded some left-over ice on the last day before leaving.” Heine van der Walt
• “As jy ‘n paar vriende is, is ‘n walkie talkie die way to go, mens kry mekaar makliker.” Heine van der Walt
• “Staal koppies / glase met ‘n chain aan jou broek wen altyd!” Heine van der Walt
• “MOENIE ‘n plastic / toy gun AK47 vat nie, die security confiscate dit dadelik né Marik Kotze?” Heine van der Walt
• “Another tip, but this one is more obvious: If you have a bakkie, you have a mobile campsite, just make a neat bed with a mattress in the canopy. you can park close to the stage and pass out without walking a mile, or drive to quieter meadows if you have noisy neighbours i.e. electronic stage.” Heine van der Walt
• “Take a pair of flip-flops, for use in the shower, to avoid piss and voet-skimmel. I don’t know if it actually helps, but it does bring peace-of-mind.” Heine van der Walt
• “Stick the line-up inside your car window facing to the outside to not be the guy walking around not having a clue where who is playing.” Ed England (via Facebook)
• “FOK! VAT JOUSELF EN KOPPI!” Konstant de Vos (via Facebook)
• “Glow in the dark breadcrumbs from the top bar to your tent.” Lana Oosthuizen (via Facebook)
• ” Don’t underestimate or get freaked out by the idea of digging a deep hole. When you gotta go you gotta go and we’re not here to judge ;)” Danielle Bates (via Facebook)
• “GLOWSTICKS!!! Dis al.. Vat net klomp Glowsticks..” Leandi van der Laarse (via Facebook)
• “Cooler net vir ys! dit hou so goeie 3 dae. kopflits. Groot glas of coleman om voggies in te stoor. Baie hout, lipice, sunscreen, warm klere, wet wipes…” Supertramp Todamax (via Facebook)
• “Less is more!” “Out of experience we take a tent, sleeping bags, mattress and drinks. thats it. nothing else. (and an axe and torch and other Koppi paraphernalia.)” Jacques Louw
• “Your ice can last if you have a big cooler in your boot and you keep it wrapped in towels and stuff.  Usually my ice then lasts till the last day. Just dont put any warm stuff in the ice though.” Jacques Louw (via Facebook)
• “Wet wipes” “En moenie kos vat nie koop sommer daar!” “En vat baie warm klere vir die koue nag” Dewald “Deeg” Oberholster (via Facebook)
• “Here’s a bunch of Oppikoppi Survial tips: If you have to take food, take for the first night, otherwise you sit with a coolerbox full of meat and water at the end of it all. Also, never ever forget that 5L water… If you think your shoes will ever be the same, think again. That’s about the only important things I can remember? Other than take a nice big portable drink container 😛 an energade bottle/water bottle will have you walking up and down for refills. Sunblock also doesn’t hurt.” One thing that’s not really so much a guideline but a recommendation. Walk into other peoples camps, talk to them, offer them some tequila and just hang out. You’re welcome at every camp!” Bryan Bosman (via Facebook)
• “Don’t be a doos” Rudi Cronje
• “Here’s another bunch of Oppikoppi survival tips for you: An array of acts on a selection of stages makes it is oh so easy to lose your BFF amidst the horde of fine fellows and gorgeous gals. Charge your cell phone prior to arriving and in case of emergency be sure to have agreed on a time and visible marker to meet up at. P.S. His/her tent at 4 in the morning is not considered a visible marker, unless stated otherwise.” “Don’t be the drunken doos who damages the car/tent/any bodily part of the innocent bloke or bokkie pitching next to you. Think personal space, cease to waste and come Monday, leave the grounds without a trace.” “Be cautious of strangers, however cute or illustrious, and be sure to take care of your personal belongings. Lady friends, pair up or drag a hottie with a body along when heading to the ATM. Naivety never justifies tragedy.” “Assume zilch. Apply sunscreen, drink enough fluids, eat regularly and condomize. In essence, make your mom proud. Besides, the mucky, -dehydrated, -sunburnt -father-to-be look hardly works for anyone other than Charlie Sheen.” “PS. Make provision for medicinal basics such as headache tablets, plasters, mozzy spray and ooh la la ointment. Leave the medics to deal with the guy who broke his ankle imitating Wynand’s scissor kick.” Michelle Marais (via E-mail)
• “Vat rehydrate saam en drink dit saam met jou eerste bier of cider vir die dag” Stephan “Stevie” Griesel (via Skype)

There you have it, a whole bunch of essential Oppikoppi survival tips from a bunch of cool peeps. Now it’s my turn…

Here are MY 10 Oppikoppi survival tips:

1. Don’t be a doos – This is one of the most-essential Oppikoppi survival tips. Don’t play your Modern Talking mix tape on full blast if you’re that oke or chick who is still partying (or just woke up) at 7 AM. If you don’t want to replace the ripped-off exhaust on your pimped-out Nissan 1400 bakkie, you’ll listen to me.

2. Make friends – Being friendly costs fuck all. It doesn’t matter if your an appy working in a workshop in Pretoria West or a lawyer from Sandton, chances are that you’ll make new friends at Oppikoppi. Just let go of all the tension of work and ordinary city life and let go. You’ll find that the majority of people will be willing to buy you a shot at the bar or give you an ice cold beer (without you even asking them).

3. Keep the fire in your campsite under control – You are allowed to make fire if you want to braai at Oppikoppi, but that doesn’t mean that you should imagine that you’re frying a brontosaurus burger (like someone in an episode of the Flinstones). Make sure that your fire is not higher than your knees (and far away from your car’s petrol tank) and douse it with water before you head off to the entertainment area to watch bands. You still want your campsite to be there when you get back, right?

4. Don’t forget toilet paper – Yes, there are usually toilet rolls at the ablution block and at the porta potties, but there might be times when you might not be able to control your bowel movements, so keep a roll in your tent so you can catch a veldtie (even if you find the word to be disgusting).

5. Don’t forget condoms – Yes, there’s a lot of free love and passion walking around on two legs at Oppikoppi, but that doesn’t mean that you should be bumping uglies without using protection. Be wise and condomise – this will avoid that awkward VD shot at the doctor and noisy surprises 9 months after the festival.

6. Take wetwipes along – Face it, the majority of you will probably NOT be taking a shower at Oppikoppi (however disgusting that might sound). So stock up on those wetwipes so you can wipe the dust of your face, privates, arms (and legs if you really want to) and thank me later.

7. Pitch your tent and set up a place to sleep the minute you arrive – Speaking out of experience I can tell you that sleeping on a deflated mattress next to your unpitched tent is not a pleasant experience – Oppikoppi gets kak cold. It’s not fun pitching a tent when you’re drunk as a skunk either, so don’t put off pitching your tent and setting up a place to dos when you arrive at the festival.

8. Pace yourself – We all have that urge to shotgun 6 cans of Windhoek Lager when we arrive at the festival, but if you keep up that pace up through the WHOLE of the day you’ll probably not see sundown on the first day (and miss some of the best acts of the festival). “Vat dit rustig”. Remember that you have 3 days of awesomeness ahead of you and be careful not to dehydrate yourself and drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep those batteries charged. Remember: Oppikoppi is not for sissies.

9. Take along warm clothes – It gets kak hot during the day at Opppikoppi, so wear your summer best during the day, but keep that warm jacket / parka, beanie and jeans handy for the evenings. It gets colder than a witch’s heart at night and you don’t want to enhance that nasty cough that you might already be dragging with you to the festival.

10. If it’s something that you don’t want to lose, leave it at home – Unless you’re someone working at Oppikoppi, leave your laptop / tablet at home or if you’re one of those peeps driving to directly to the festival from work, lock your valuables in the boot of your car – don’t leave it in your tent. No one wants to go through the hassle of replacing an expensive electronic gadget after a festival.

If you ask me your priority should be to have a good time, enjoy the tunes, make good friends and experience the BEST music festival that South Africa has to offer. Plain and simple if you ask me.

If you have found this post featuring Oppikoppi survival tips useful, please share this post with your friends on Facebook and Twitter. And if you have more Oppikoppi survival tips to add, feel free to comment on this post.

Feel free to check out the loads of posts I’ve done about about Oppikoppi.

Watch this space for regular updates in the Music category on Running Wolf’s Rant.