30 Legendary Sheldon Cooper Quotes

Sheldon Cooper was one of the main characters in the CBS’ The Big Bang Theory (which aired from 2007 to 2019). A younger version of the fictional character is currently appearing in the spin-off series, Young Sheldon. The character was created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady (the creators of the The Big Bang Theory). He has been portrayed by 2 actors: Jim Parsons and Iain Armitage.

More info about Sheldon Cooper

Sheldon Cooper was inspired by a computer programmer personally known to series co-creator Bill Prady. He is characterized as being highly intelligent, but he tends to display childish qualities, such as extreme stubbornness and meanness. This fictional Theoretical Physicist (who possesses an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187. He originally claimed to have a master’s degree and two doctoral degrees, but that list has probably increased by now.

Sheldon Cooper has had many quotable lines in The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon. Today I will be highlighting a few of them.

Here are 30 Legendary Sheldon Cooper Quotes

Quotes from The Big Bang Theory

1. Sheldon‘s response to Raj saying that bugs freak him out

“Interesting. You’re afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.” 

2. Sheldon‘s modified version of Rock, Paper, Scissors

“Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”

Sheldon Cooper - The Big Bang Theory

3. Sheldon Cooper tells Leonard why he didn’t make progress with one of his ideas

“I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea. You thought of it September 22nd, 2007. Two days later, Penny moved in and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town.”

4. Sheldon blames the bus for being late

“I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.”

5. Sheldon responds to Leonard asking him to guess what just happened

“You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal, which brought you 5,000 years into the future, where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you’re back, to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we are transported to work at the think-a-torium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?”

6. Sheldon telling Amy that he has feelings for her

“There’s no denying that I have feelings for you that can’t be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.”

Sheldon Cooper & Amy Fowler - The Big Bang Theory

7. Doctor Cooper responds to Penny crying and saying that she’s stupid

“That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.”

8. Sheldon responds to Howard saying he’s insane and Leonard suggesting that it would be nice to meet new people

“For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I’m not insane, my mother had me tested.”

9. Sheldon Cooper shares his idea for a Inter-Species Super Soldier

“The correct animal for inter-species super soldier is the koala. You would wind up with an army so cute, it couldn’t be attacked.”

10. Sheldon on being smart

“I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can’t take this away.”

11. Sheldon tells a neutron joke

“A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies “for you, no charge”.”

12. Sheldon questions the mean of “friends with benefits”

“What exactly does that expression mean, ‘friends with benefits?’ Does he provide her with health insurance?”

13. Sheldon express his feelings about gravity

“Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.”

14. Doctor Cooper defines Geology

“You remember you how you explained to met that the Kardashians aren’t real celebrities. Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.”

15. Sheldon responds to seeing Wil Wheaton

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox! “

16. Sheldon telling Penny about Sheldons in different universes

“Penny, while I subscribe to the many-worlds theory which posits the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes – I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.”

17. Sheldon asks Leonard if he wants to play his physics in-car game

“Would you like to play a physics car game I invented called “I Can’t Spy”? It’s all the nail biting tension of “I Spy,” but the added fun of sub-atomic particles and waves outside the visible spectrum.”

Sheldon Cooper and Leonard - The Big Bang Theory

18. Sheldon expresses his views about Windows 7

“My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user friendly than Windows Vista. I don’t like that.”

19. Sheldon on hacking and buying uranium

“Apparently you can’t hack into a government supercomputer and then try to buy uranium without the Department of Homeland Security tattling to your mother.”

20. Sheldon on drinking coffee

“I’m sorry, coffee’s out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn’t start doing drugs.”

Quotes from Young Sheldon

21. Young Sheldon Cooper on getting onto the shuttle

“I needed to get on the shuttle so I could escape this ridiculous planet. Spoiler alert, I’m still here.” 

22. Young Sheldon on the church of Mathology

“Welcome to the church of Mathology. Today I’d like to talk about prime numbers and why they give us joy.”

Young Sheldon Cooper

23. Young Doctor Cooper on taking books out at the library

 “I started taking books out of the library, without stamping the cards. Before you judge me too harshly, I always brought them back on time. I was rule-breaker, not a lunatic.”

24. Young Sheldon on Supervillians

“What I find interesting, is how so many supervillains are scientists. If the world doesn’t respect me, I might change sides.”

25. Young Sheldon on the student dress and grooming code

“Per the student dress and grooming code, this boy’s hair is too long. This boy’s wearing sports attire outside a designated area. And this girl’s blouse is diaphanous, which means I can see her brassiere.”

26. Young Sheldon needed funds to buy a computer, so he called the bank

“Hello. Yes, you can help me, Dorothy Fitzpatrick. I’m interested in taking out a second mortgage. I’m nine years old. Why do you ask? That’s called age discrimination, Dorothy, but I’m willing to let it slide. I’m glad you find me cute, but I’m deadly serious. I need funds to buy a computer. No, the house isn’t in my name. I’m nine. We’ve established this. I do prepare the taxes for my parents, and if we tighten our belts, we’ll have sufficient equity for the loan.”

27. Young Sheldon on real innovation

“Attention, students and faculty. This is Sheldon Lee Cooper. We’re taught that hard work pays off, but that’s not true. I came up with a solution to save Earth from killer asteroids, and lost the science fair to SueAnn Ludlow, and her frizzy hair machine. But it wasn’t just me who lost, we all lost. Wake up, people. The system’s broken. Real innovation isn’t valued. Nowadays, it’s all about flash and style.”

“I blame MTV. Luckily, my parents can’t afford cable. I urge you all to rise up. They can’t send everyone to the principal’s office. Chew gum in class, use a number one pencil, go nuts. This is Sheldon Lee Cooper signing off. Live long and prosper.”

28. Sheldon explains what’s in the backpack he’s taking to the mall

“This is my mall safety kit. Earplugs to drown out crowd noise, Wet-Naps to wipe down escalator handrails, a compass, a map of the mall, and a whistle, in case I get lost or approached by a woman holding a perfume bottle.”

29. Young Sheldon explains why he should go to college

“Hello. I’m Sheldon Cooper, and this is Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College. I realize attending college in another state or country is unrealistic at this time. Which is why I’m proposing that I live at home but enroll full-time to continue my studies with Dr. Sturgis at East Texas Tech. I firmly believe that I’m ready for this next step in my academic life. But don’t just take it from me…”

30. Young Sheldon on the Nobel Prize

“You’ll be amazed to know that the Nobel Prize, while being the most prestigious award in science, is not generally celebrated in this country. No parades, no fireworks. Which is why I thought having a breakfast celebration was not only appropriate, but long overdue.”

“You may have noticed that I went with Cheerios, and believe me, it was a decision that I came to after careful consideration. There were birds on the Froot Loops, Cocoa Puffs and Corn Flakes, so they were out. And leprechauns and elves are magical creatures that would be a slap in the face to the scientific community. Anyway, the festivities begin at 4:30 a.m. You’re most welcome to come. As are you, unhappy bag boy.”

Well, there you have it, 30 legendary Sheldon Cooper quotes. I hope that you’ve found this quotes interesting / funny. If you did, feel free to share this article with your friends on your social media networks.

In case you did not know, you can stream all 12 seasons of the The Big Bang Theory on Netflix in South Africa.

Watch this space for updates in the Television category on Running Wolf’s Rant.

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Henno Kruger

Blogger, Desktop Activist, Twitter / Facebook Addict, Music Festival Addict, Avid lover of South African music, Founder and owner of Running Wolf's Rant

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