Home Opinion Intro to Tweedledee and Tweedledum’s Horrible Advice Column

Intro to Tweedledee and Tweedledum’s Horrible Advice Column


A week or so ago, while in my unstable emotional condition, I had a chat with my good old friend Gary. Long story short, we’re starting a band.

Well not really, both of us suck musically, so next best thing is an advice column, am I right?

Instead of listening to those heart breaking, wrist slitting lyrics which were only conjured up by bad ass boys & girls to put at ease all the groupie virgins they popped before moving on swiftly, or a Taylor Swift CD, why not ask us? We’re here to help with the best of our lonely ranger abilities.

Gullible fucks you are, aren’t you?

Gary, who I also refer to as my “Sielsgenoot” has quite a unique view on life, love and the rare bone session. He’s fuck off sweet, with a heart of gold and whether you’ll like it or not, will take off his own pants just in case you want to see his sexier quarter.

I, on the other hand like to think that I give sound advice, with all possibilities taken into consideration. I also rely on sarcastic comments when I have completely nothing to add to your situation. Laughter after all might just be all you need along with a VD shot.

Together we have absolutely no idea where we are going in life. What we are doing or when our next lay will be. Goals were something we had in Primary School when we could still get a Noddy badge or become Chief in the Spur kids club. We have no chance in ever being role models or to own expensive things. However, we aren’t completely useless. We have hopes and dreams of baking everyone a rainbow cake. Filled with hope, smiles and love stains, so that each time a person takes a bite they’ll be happy and find what they are looking for.

So, if you find yourself in a life rut, or any other shitty, sticky situation and your friends are completely useless at giving and following their own advice or if you don’t even have friends, leave us a comment or CLICK HERE to tweet us. If it’s embarrassing and you would prefer to wear a V for Vendetta mask and call yourself Anonymous then do as you please. We’ll help just like Tweedledee and Tweedledum. With two answers, from two very different people. Dick/Ghoon pics are also welcome.

“If you think we’re waxworks, you ought to pay, you know”
“Contrariwise, if you think we’re alive you ought to speak to us.”

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