Author: Gareth Davies

Pretorian. Wordsmith. Curious Creature.

It’s been almost 2 months since my last post. In 2 months more can happen than what any of us comprehend. Since my last post, there have been loads of events including a Park Acoustics, the Grind Radio launch (where I briefly made an appearance before throwing up and passing out in my friend Armandt’s bakkie), birthdays, people moving away, earthquakes, Ebola and Oppikoppi which I was unable to make due to the fact that I am even poorer than I was before because I bought my very first car. That sounds impressive but it’s just a 1989 Uno. The…

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As a 26 year old, I honestly still do not consider myself a man, at all. In my opinion a man is someone that can care for his woman / children or can build a home or any type of building that contains planning with their bare hands. I am just a guy. I am a guy who can barely open beers with my soft hands, can build majestic pillow forts, cried during “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” and someone who stands around and tries to look like he knows exactly what other guys are talking…

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If you read this blog regularly, you probably are a huge fan of music. Music can alter your mood, change your way of thinking, bring back forgotten memories and fill you with nostalgia, hell, it can even make or break a party. It can help you through heartbreak and give your life a soundtrack. Hell, it even alters our goals and plans. Everyone wants to be in a band one day and make music people will love. We grow up with music in our lives. It’s everywhere: on the radio, in the movies, in the games we play, at the…

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So, the other night while innocently getting incoherently (big word) drunk at Aandklas I bumped into my partner in misdemeanor, Adeline. We hung out, talked shit and continued getting drunk and losing all ambitions. We spoke about how ironic it was that all of you bitch about your problems on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, MySpace and on any other social networks to complete strangers when you have 2 completely strange, capable and let’s be honest, good looking, strangers right here to offer you the kind of love and support you crave from that creepy account that uses a stock photo…

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If I have to be perfectly honest writing, for the most part, has always been hard for me. On occasion ideas and creativity just come flooding through and I have an easy time of piecing sentences together to form paragraphs that form a body of work from head to toe. I try to build something out of nothing. I’m not trying to be a serious writer, I just want to write stuff people might hopefully find interesting or can maybe relate to. To possibly give people the words they were looking for but could never find. The ideas and words…

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Waking up at 1:13 AM on a Monday morning with a mouth as dry as the Savannah adverts or any girl who has ever been unfortunate enough to sleep with me, usually means one thing: I spent the whole day getting drunk on beer, shots of PO10c, tequila and by the look of my red lips, Tassenberg on Sunday. Looking into the bathroom mirror after swallowing very large quantities of water I can see how red my face has been burnt from the mighty sun. Standing there, feeling like shit and trying to gather my thoughts and memories of what…

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When I was young I thought I was a dinosaur. I would walk around with my arms tucked in with just my index and middle fingers pointing out like a T-Rex. I would walk around roaring (or growling) at people. I would chase my pavement special dog up and down the yard trying to hunt him like a T-Rex would hunt a herbivore in prehistoric times. I was basically the only child since my brothers are 15 and 12 years older than me. So I had to find ways to stay entertained. Drawing pictures on the walls with permanent markers…

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The internet and popular trends that come with it over time are making us dumber. Our memory is getting weaker and weaker by the second. We don’t need to remember anything anymore because all the information we need is just a few clicks away. If you think our parents’ and grandparents’ memories are bad then just wait and see ours when we reach that age. I’m already struggling to remember people’s names and faces. I know of 1 guy who I’ve met like 4 times in the last year alone. And nothing against him, I’m not trying to insult him,…

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Girls. That one word is the most complex thing on this little place we call planet earth. A whole gridlock of emotions simultaneously spontaneously combusting on the inside. With bodies, hearts and brains that actually make me think that intelligent design could be real. Girls. Who come from Venus. Which is what us guys call our right testicles. The left is obviously called Mars. No matter how hard we try to sum you up you find a way of surprising us even more. Whether in a good or bad way. Expecting the unexpected is always easier said than done. You…

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Last month the company I slave for celebrated making 1 Billion Rand. Not a Million, 1 Billion. And not like the whole company with all its separate branches. No, just our branch. And they reached the billion mark exactly 1 month and 1 week earlier than the last financial year. And guess how they made us celebrate this huge achievement… Not with a day off. An office party. A braai or something fun or cool. No. We celebrated with cake. And no, not a fancy cake from an upper-class cake shop. Hell, not even a big enough cake. It was…

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I’m just recycling old words and memories and phrases and attempting to do something constructive with them. This is not talent of any sort, but only shows off my organisational skills. If you want talent, go to your local strip club and see what woman with C-section scars can do to a pole and how they crumble big men into their most basic form just by using skills of seduction. I receive compliments but I brush it off as just some kind gesture. Something that someone is just saying to make you feel good about yourself and to make themselves scratch something…

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