This Joke has been circulating around on e-mails in South African offices and workplaces for the past few weeks. It’s one of the funniest South African jokes I’ve ever heard. I hardly do posts for Jokes on Running Wolf’s Rant, but I thought that this one would be worth mentioning. Feel free to check out the other posts in the Humor category of this blog. You might also enjoy viewing the daily updated Photography and Babes categories as well as the regularly updated Movies, Music, Technology and Opinion categories on Running Wolf’s Rant.
A farmer named Van was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Limpopo when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young black man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asks the farmer “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?” Van looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answered “Sure, Why not?”. The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his Dell notebook computer, connected it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfed to a NASA page on the Internet where he called up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opened the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exported it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany for analysis. Within mere seconds, he received an email on his Palm Pilot notifying him that the image had been processed and the data is stored. He then accessed a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and after a few minutes received a response. Finally, he printed out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laserjet printer and finally turned to the farmer and said “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”
“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves” the farmer said. He watched the young man select one of the animals and looked on amused as the young man stuffed it into the trunk of his car. Then Van said to the young man “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?” The young man thought about it for a second and then said “Okay, why not?”
“You’re Julius Malema, head of the Youth League for the ANC Party” Van said. “Wow! That’s correct” the yuppie replied “but how did you guess that?”. “No guessing required” the farmer answered “you showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are and you don’t know a thing about cows… this is a herd of sheep… Now give me back my dog.”