In case you did not know, the Darwin Awards has its origins on Usenet on 1985. The awards recognize individuals who have contributed to human evolution by self-selecting themselves out of the gene pool via death or sterilization by their own (and unnecessarily foolish) actions.
The official Darwin Awards website was launched in 1993 and a series of books followed shortly afterwards. It’s the perfect accolade for all the stupid people, otherwise I’ll have to use this meme a lot more than I already am.
Darwin Awards nominees get nominated based on five things: Inability to reproduce (must be dead or rendered sterile), excellence (astoundingly stupid judgment), self-selection (cause of one’s own demise), maturity (capable of sound judgment) and Veracity (the event must be verified). In Layman’s terms: you really have to be a dumb-ass to get a Darwin Award. Julius Malema should have gotten one ages ago (in my humble opinion).
2013 has had it’s fair share of stupid individuals doing stupid things, just take a look at these five Darwin Awards winners below.
UPDATE: And yes, after much criticism I realize that all these people below DON’T qualify for the awards based on the criteria but they are still stupid and SHOULD be sterilized or shot.
So, do you agree or disagree with this assessment? Leave a comment and let me know. Comment if you know of another individual who should be on this list for 2013.
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Watch this space for regular updates in the Humor category on Running Wolf’s Rant.
16 Comments
Four of these five people fail to meet the first criterion you list: inability to reproduce. They’re still alive and still presumably able to breed.
By the very criteria you outline in the top of the article, most of these cannot be Darwin Awards – because no-one is dead or sterilised.
Fair enough
I thought the first criterion for nomination is, “Inability to reproduce (must be dead or rendered sterile)…? Only your winner fulfilled that condition.
The only one of these (based on the story) that could qualify as a Darwin Award is the last one… Especially after you just defined what a Darwin Award was…
What the previous commenters failed to point out is that these are all old as fuck…. i hate stumbleupon for taking me here
I got this off an image I found on the internet, did not KNOW it was old as fuck, and did not know it wasn’t confirming to all the things on the list, I just SHARED an image I found on the web
Maybe next time you share an image you should double check it against the stuff you write above it.
Fair enough
You posted this here though, didn’t you write the opening? Looking at the criteria and the first story you didn’t make a connection? Why the hell did you put your name on it for then if it’s no more than copy/paste?
I was just adding insight on WHAT the awards are, did not realize everything didn’t comply with it
Most of these are from an amazing book called Bizarre World by Bill Bryson. It’s a compendium of unlikely and amusing tales.
Not Darwin Awards, these people did not enrich humanity by dying, etc.
Basically gotta be dead, and in a stupid / self inflicted way.
Get it together internet, your shit is tired son.
Thanks for pointing that out, I already admitted that I was wrong
The “Darwin Awards”, whilst entertaining, are in reality the norm today in America rather than oddities. Are then Americans just becoming more stupid or are they being “dumbed down” by the government and the socialist educational system? Hmmmm?
so the award actually goes to you for posting without checking?