45 Things That Were Seen “Only at Oppikoppi”

Feeling amped for Oppikoppi 2013 Bewilderbeast, my good friend @phoenixmuso and I asked people “What have you seen at Oppikoppi that you haven’t seen anywhere else?” on our social media profiles a week ago.

The official hashtag we used on Twitter was #OnlyAtKoppi The response we received back was impressive on Facebook, but less impressive on Twitter. That doesn’t mean that we received less cool responses though.

Before I get into this enormous amount of responses from that we received on Facebook and Twitter take note

I don’t do drugs and I am not suggesting that you should use them to enhance your festival experience. Firstly they are illegal, secondly they are not good for you, thirdly they are not allowed at Oppikoppi and they can land you in a lot of shit if you do get caught with them and fourthly you don’t need them when you have plenty of legal alcohol at your disposal. Also note that the views expressed in these stories are not my own.

Enjoy these 45 Things That Were Seen “Only at Oppikoppi” (Sourced from Social Media)

“Ons het een keer gedink ons het ‘n klomp uile in ‘n boom gesien wat sit en vir ons kyk maar toe besef ons dis nie regtig uile nie maar blare wat lyk soos uile…” Suzette Britz

“A guy walking past our camp site every 30 min for 8 hours , we stopped him eventually to ask WTF and it turned out that he could not find his tent.”  Ray Watson

“Then there is the time when a random chick drove over our campfire , put up her tent in between our tents and only realized the next morning that we were there … The look on her face when she emerged from her tent to find a whole camp site was priceless” Ray Watson

“Louw brothers got lost many a time, the last recorded was last year with me walking around for 3 hours, and apparently 4 times past my campsite!! lekker stupid”  Jacques Louw

“Fell asleep one night and woke up around 3/4 AM. My sister and I decided to go missioning and found a girl in a neck brace at her camp. She had been in an accident on her way to Oppikoppi, written her car off and ended up at Brits hospital. She still came through and partied on. Real trooper!” Nicole Olwagen

“Staring at a hole in the ground waiting for a rabbit to come out. Apparently I was standing there for over 2 hours” Rudi Norval

“2 guys making out, each thinking the other was a girl.  Facial expressions upon realisation was beyond description. Say no to drugs kids.” Christo “Baas” De Beer

“I got back to my tent after a heavy night of drinking & working. I opened my tent to see a guy ramming somebody from behind. They were so busy they didn’t even notice me opening the tent. I looked at the situation and said ‘excuse me but I think your copulating in the wrong tent’ They both turned around & I saw that it was to gay dudes and not a guy and girl as I originally thought. I told them to finish off & to keep the amount of semen in my tent to a minimum and that I would come back later.” Kobus van Rooyen (Definitely Only at Oppikoppi if you ask me).

“My eerste Oppikoppi – na ons tent opgeslaan het in Mordor – gaan soek ons die lang ry van die cubicles voor ons bands kon gaan kyk het. ‘n Engelse meisie hartloop na ons toe waar ons in die ry staan, van haar kop af gesyp, en wys na die ry – “Is this the queue?”. Voor ons nog kon antwoord, trek sy haar broek uit en squat net daar. Vriende van my loop verby wat ek jare laas gesien het en hulle was soos ‘Pis die chick net hier?’.” Vicky Jankiewicz

“‘n Dude wat ‘n Spongebob bank stoot in die sand van die stages af, op hom neerval net voor ons kamp en kak begin praat met ons.” Ivan Kruger

“A guy tripping tits so hard on acid that for the better part of an hour he threw a bottle in the air, caught it and laughed every time. Then, when he missed and it hit a tree he proceeded to reprimand the tree.” Desre Barnard

” ‘n Dude met handcuffs wat skielik met ‘n stinkspoed deur ons kamp hardloop en die polisie wat hom in die middel van ons kamp plattrek.” Liana Kritzinger

“A guy who spent the entire weekend dressed as Chicken from Cow and Chicken. He swore Cow was around, but we never saw him.” Desre Barnard

“A guy who is genuinely the most Afrikaans guy I know got so drunk that he was convinced he was British, couldn’t understand a word of Afrikaans and that the blind guy we met wasn’t really blind, just fucked up.” Desre Barnard

“Ek het by Smoorverlief ‘n ou gesien wat op die grond uitgepass het, toe begin almal hom versier met random ontbytkos en sigaret pakkies, toe begin mense agter hom spoon en fotos neem. Dit embody nogal vir my die Smoorverlief tema ” Liana Kritzinger (Only at Oppikoppi my friend)

“Ek’s eenkeer in Piet Botha Rylaan afgetrek vir “speeding” en moes toe twee Black Labels funnel as my straf.” Liana Kritzinger

“A guy passed out for 2 days in one spot” Nicole Olwagen

“A man with a crown of thorns, whipped his penis out and swang it around, took off his clothes, pissed on them, walked away and left them behind. He has been dubbed Oppi Jesus.” Anonymous

“Every year is different… but first thing that comes to mind is so those drunken sillies who sit on top of the water truck and jump from the tank to the front top of the truck!!! ai and then they laugh when their friend almost donners off ” Janie De Swardt (Only at Oppikoppi, definitely)

” Mordor. There is no other camping ground like it.” Chris Danger Thundervolt

“White guys sleeping under trees…” Lizanne Burger

“God.” Konstant De Vos

“Tents stuck in trees” Nicolene Olckers

“Dust Art” Johan Ferguson

“Naked guys in trees talking about the weather, liquorice tea-cups, an array of treasures (tents, cappuccino sachets, camping chairs) left for those who leave last and tequila slushies! Mmm…” Vanessa E. Smeets

“The meaning of life” Carl Barnard

“Dust” Colette Carr

“Watching a guy snort a shot of brandy of the tailgate of a bakkie… Multiple times!!” Anneke Maritz-Kruger

“Only place where Gum Boots seems to be the in thing” Johan Ferguson

“Chicks drinking body shots from dusty stinking toes” Johan Ferguson

“‘n Couple wat bang op my kar se bonnet terwyl ek in die kar uitgepaas is. Hahaha!! Dit was special! Veral toe ek my venster oopmaak en vir hulle skreeu om van my kar af te klim, toe gee die girl ‘n gil, hulle gly net af en spyker verder op die grond voor my kar!! In die modder!! Bwhahaha!! Dit was daai een dreadful rainy Easter Oppikoppi in 2004. Tent was soaked en ek moes in my kar slaap. GOEIE TYE!!! Ek mis dit!” Irene Richardson

“n Dude in ‘n fucked up chicken suit bo in ‘n boom… het die pic om dit te bewys” Chantelle Breedt (Only at Oppikoppi, verseker).

“Men walking around in a cardboard car” Ruth Baldwin

“Me being very brown!!! And it’s not from the sun but the sand” Ruth Baldwin

“Waking up at 4:30 AM to the sound of a drunk guy screaming “Craig” cause he lost his camp ground and passed out in a bush” Ruth Baldwin

“5 guys carrying around a couch to sit on because the grass just isn’t cool enough!!” Ruth Baldwin

“Dat jy vir enige mens kan drank vra en hulle sal vir jou gee, maar moet net nie water vra nie” Alta Van Wyk

“Drunk guy admitting he’s gay in front of his friends and girlfriend.” Levy Mphako

“Was 2003 of 2004, not sure. Een van my pelle was goed gesuip toe hy iets in ‘n doringboom sien. Hy klim toe op en kom af met ‘n moerse dooie voël – soos ‘n hadeda of iets. Hy proceed om die ding te balance oor sy skouer met n stuk tou en truth be hold, hy het met daai dooie voël die hele dag rondgeloop en vir mense slukkies gevra vir die voël sodat hy kan beter voel. (ek mag nie name noem nie hehe)” Jacques Louw

“A certain mate of mine with only a red g-string as clothing the whole weekend and only took it off when he got to McGintys dipped it in a draft and said it was a damn good weekend. Then the other chap with no clothing on rubbed full of lube those Durex girls handed out walking around and trying to get his tent up….. These two made Oppikoppi a blast !!!!” Jacques J Martin

“A human turd on top of a potato in the middle of the road. No jokes. Don’t believe me? Ask Andries Wagter Heydenrych. (Not that I’m implying it’s his.)” Janus De Villiers

“Back in 2007 I think, some dude passed out in one of the roads, and was run over only to get up and walk away… either that or the acid was really good. Oppikoppi is fucking scary.” Ryan Julian Matthews

“One morning we woke up and right in the middle of our campsite, draped over a bush… was a GIANT pink, glittery “undergarment”. It was huge. At first I thought someone’s tent had flown away… We’ve got a picture somewhere with FOUR of us standing in it. Until this day, the mystery has not been solved… We’re still trying to get a confession out of whomever the guilty party is…” Nadia Mynhardt (Only at Oppikoppi, definitely)

“Approximately 20 000 drunk “bank robbers” from a Clint Eastwood Western” Geoffrey Reeks

“The glow stick tree is always an awesome sight! That and drunk guys falling through thorn bushes…” Matthew Wright

Well, there you have it, 45 Things that were seen Only At Oppikoppi. If you have an experience you’d like to share, feel free to leave a comment below.

I’m attending my 15th Oppikoppi festival this year. Over the years I’ve seen plenty of things like this and stranger things like the official Oppikoppi flasher of 2004, the feet licking competition of 2007, the guy in the tin foil underpants from 2009 and the Oppikoppi roadblock of 1998  – the list goes on and on.

I’m pretty sure that many of you can add Things That Were Seen “Only At Oppikoppi” to this list. Feel free to comment on this post and let us know about your experience. Feedback is appreciated and welcome.

Keep your eyes peeled on the Oppikoppi Festival Facebook page and follow @oppikoppi on Twitter for regular updates about the upcoming festival. You can still buy tickets: they cost R650 via the Standard Bank Youth Portal or R800 if you buy them directly on the Oppikoppi Festival Facebook page.

Feel free to share this post with your music festival loving friends and with your tjommies who are going to attend their first Oppikoppi festival this year on Facebook and Twitter. Remember: Sharing is Caring.

Watch this space for regular updates in the Humor category on Running Wolf’s Rant.